My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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