Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
