i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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