so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dick very happy bro
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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