Is it because I queefed?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize