i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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