my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
