The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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