Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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