She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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