i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
