Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
