I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize