So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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