1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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