redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Randomize
