My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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