bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
