We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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