How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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