Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
