I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
