any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
