She is in my trunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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