I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
