i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
