Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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