Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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