The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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