2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
