In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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