My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
