We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize