either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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