This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
