I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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