I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
