gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
