Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
