I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
