ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
