Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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