Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
