I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
