Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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