and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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