11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
North Korea, Best Korea!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
