i don't like sucking hair
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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