I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize