I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
