So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Life is so much better after having sex.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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