those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
