I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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