when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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