i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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