Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
