I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
