It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
