Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
