John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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