So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
