she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
