other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize